Linggo, Agosto 13, 2017

Sampung bagay na gustong gustokong sbihin sayo.

Isa, nagsimula lahat sa isang chat mo, isang chat na ang tagal tagal kong inantay na mkuha ko galing sayo.


Dalawa, dalawang ulit mo nang hinahawakan yung ulo ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa bumbunan ko pero wala nakong pake ang alam ko lang kinikilig ako.


Tatlo, tatlong apir na galing sayo sa twing nananalo ka sa laban mo, feelingera lang ba ko nong naramadaman ko na hinigpitan mo yun hawak mo.. tama na ang landi ko.



Apat, apat na taon ang age gap natin. Pero feeling ko hindi halata kase halos magkaheight lang tayo.



Lima, limang laro mo na ang pinapanood ko. At sa bawat pagpalo ng raketa mo, feeling ko pinapalo mo din yung puso ko papalapit sayo.



Anim, anim na malalakas na tibok ng puso ko ang nramdaman ko nong minsang nagpapapasa ko ng files sa cellphone mo.
Pito, pitong bes kong tinanong ang sarili ko. Bakit ganon? parang iba ang nararammdamn ko. Hindi ka mawala a isip ko pitong araw sa isang linggo ko din iniistalk ang profile mo.



Walo, walong hampas ang ginawa ko sa sarili ko na baka nananaginip lang ako nong nalaman ko na wallpaper mo daw ako sa cellphone mo.


Siyam, siyam na sipa at palo nkuha mo tuwing nagkakamali ako ng galaw sa stunts ko. Siyam na bes akong nahulog pero hindi ko namalayan sa huling pagbagsak ko literal na pala kong nahulog sayo.




Sampu, Sampung beses kong pinaniwala sarili ko na wala lang tong nararamdaman ko. Sampung beses kong pinilit pgilan tong mararamdaman ko pero sampung beses din akong nagsinungaling sa sarili ko kasi sampung beses kong pinag sisihan na sinabi ko sayong ayoko nong sinabi mo sakin gusto mo din ako.

Biyernes, Hunyo 23, 2017

And I'm writing here again.

I'm writing here again.
Writing to express myself. To express all my inner thoughts. And to voice out my feelings.

And I'm on this situation again. Trying to understand myself and asking WHAT THIS IS I'M FEELING I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN.

But this time, I guess it's different. He haven't show any signs that he's interested, but I can't resist the fact that I am distracted by him. I know it's wrong, that's why I am trying to overcome it. But no matter how I force myself not to think of it the more I think of it.

WHY!

What's with you? Why I can't get off you out of my mind. Why every time I see you, I smile.Why I treasure every moment I am talking to you. Why I stalked you everyday. Why you motivate me to do my best. That I am not the worst but good.

The fact that you graduate with honors, scholar, dancer and a license professional. I like it all.

What's with you?

If only I know the answer. If only. But I know that whatever it is, the truth is that I should keep this as a secret. Because I know, that your waiting for someone and I'm with someone.

I don't why I have to feel this way. I should be contented by this time. Because there's a person willing to do all his best just for me for a long time.

Give me a sign please. Or just let me forget about it. Because I know, it is all non sense, the fact that I'm the only one feeling this way.

Huwebes, Pebrero 16, 2017

18th day of September.

One cold September changes all.

"Don't stop here, I lost my place.. I'm close behind. "

Forbidden.
Yes, but consider it as sweetest escape.
Walking in the side of street, waiting for something she didn't know
If it is right or wrong.

Awkward moment,
First glance,
Like, the whole world stops for a little while

People met for a reason
Sadly, it is not always what we want.
And we have nothing to do but to accept this fate.

It's not meant to be.
But smile because it happened.

That  a dream that turns into reality
Will always have a place in this innocent heart.
Until September ends.

Huwebes, Setyembre 8, 2016

I don't know what I am feeling right now.

I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to feel.
I don't know everything.

I just want to escape all the problems I have.
All my doubts and thoughts.
About me, about you, and about us.

It's not you, it's me.
It's hard for me to explain because because even me, I can't understand myself.
I really don't know what I want.
It's just that I need some realizations.

I need some space.
I need to understand myself.
To become a better person, for you and for us.
I just need a little time to fix myself.
To find the happiness in me.
Maybe in that way I can love you the way you love me.